Sorry Cobra, have to add an addendum to my last post. You knew it was coming anyway...
I have to say, in all honesty, that one of the reasons why I am working so hard in showing my true emotions with him is because he does so with me, and I admire the he!! out of that. He has no problem crying in front of me... now... if I had chastized him for it... we'd have a different ball game... but I so admire his courage in willing to show himself to me in weak moments that I honor it as it comes... with the due respect it deserves. That's a heck of a thing for a man to do, IMHO.
He does the same thing sexually. And I think to myself, well by golly, if he is willing to step up to the plate and tell me what he is thinking and feeling, and what he would like to try or not try, then dam it, he deserves the same from me.
It hasn't all gone like clock work, mind you, and I have had to stretch myself beyond all limits I thought myself capable. But we stumble along, and laugh our azzes off when we absolutely tank on an effort.
I think this may fall into the category of what Blackfoot calls male 'leading.' And I am mirroring.
I have to say... I like this stuff.
Now, just so I don't make it sound like everything is all sunshine and roses... I've also had to... gulp... stick to a few boundaries (I only have a few, but they are important). And it hasn't been easy. There have been times when I've let him hang out there on his own on an issue because I've had to respect my own boundaries... but in the end... I think he respects me for it. And he's done it once or twice with me.
And though they are very uncomfortable moments... the 'doing' of it is never as bad as my mental fear of it. And that encourages me.
Except for the crying/comforting thing. That's still a toughie for me. But I'm working on it.
