Nice post… Damn, I wish my W would read this board! Anyway, this is EXACTLY what I am talking about regarding attachment issues.
But in doing something like this, I rob myself and a friend of a 'soul exchange.' I rob them of feeling good about helping me... and I avoid the guilt I feel in having to ask. I would infinitely rather someone just 'notice' I need help and 'do it' so I don't have to ask.
Kinda goes back to the one-up idea, doesn’t it. Having to ask makes you feel vulnerable and one-down. It is a loss of control, IMO, and why it is scary. Robbing your mate of a “soul exchange” moment also robs him of the chance face his issues and give comfort. Until you allow this opportunity to happen, he is stuck in his growth too. For him to feel bonded, he needs to practice bonding, not just talk about it. To not let him practice keeps a shield around you.
