UD

Would it surprise you guys if I said that the pain from this experience wasn't as bad as the pain I felt when he walked out on me over the holidays?

No. Not at all. On the former its not your fault perse, nor is their anything you feel or know that you can do about it. Its a lost dream out of your control.
The latter, deep down, we feel we must have had a part to play in why it happened.


over here on Corri/Blackie's thread
You did that just to annoy me. I know it. It didnt work.
...
...
damn women. B comes before C. and its my thread.(hijackers welcome)



HP

AND he bristles if I try to do it to him, when he's down about something. Oh man, them's fighting words to him. LOL
Perhaps blackfoot can enlighten me as to why a man would NOT want to be comforted when they're down

I can only conjecture about your H. He was a marine sniper. There isnt a whole lot of warm fuzzy support type reinforcement used, when they are in a bad situation. In general I think its a nurture issue.

Personally I dont want to hear, comments like 'everything's ok.' or 'dont worry about it.' when things are bad. its not the truth and conflicts with the reality of the situation and the action that needs to be taken. The only comment I can come up with that would be appreciated is 'Well be ok, honey.' or ' I know your working on it' otherwise the same thing can be said with her actions.
(which by the way is exactly what Mojo did in her most recent scenario.)

Its pretty much a lose/lose situation for the woman (the ones dealing with me atanyrate.) I dont want repeated help or suggestions (nagging) either. Basically I just expect her to --standbye untill further notice. LOL. Correct me if I am mistaken, but I think this vacumn puts women into a tailspin. or leaves them flailing. something like that.
Ive noticed recently...well known it... but anyways... that women love to talk about ...the future, what ifs, plans, etc. Infatuated people and people in new R's, especially do this. dream and dream and dream, even if it has no basis in reality. Look at dialogue between infidels.

back to what women want...
They want to know what you intend and where you are going, even when your --there allready-- so to speak. They want to feel that you know what's going on, have a plan, that everything is going to be ok. reminds me of a song, Billy Joel's Tell her about it.(please if Im mistaken, correct me. I just see the positive response, to this scenario)
When things are amuck, I cant/wont do that. If I get pestered enough to drag something up, its more like .... 'Im working on it' (cant she see that? sheesh, there's a storm and Im busy trying to batten down the hatches. feel free to join in, or pipe down, but dont keep tugging on my sleeve, saying 'whats gonna happen.' Im not nostradamus.)
I wont make promises I cant keep. it sure would be nice if they just trusted us, based on our past performance, eh burgbud?

In the nebulous associations I have with women now, Ive allready mentioned to Karen, that I wont do/use rapport. I think its dishonest. So when they start this kind of thing up, invariable I say 'Oh, we're playing lets pretend now'.
anyways, I dont know how we got there. hopefully some other guys will say how they feel about receiving comfort.

Oh yeah. I dont remember why, but I have thought you were blonde since ....Lils thread on what actor we look like?. I have to say it really messed with my beliefs on HD/LD. You -as a blonde- were an incredible annoying exception to my tidy niches. Now youve gone and rectified it and I thank you very much for that. Man I feel better. all is right in my world again.