Quote: In reality its not truthful in the sense that he probably was not indifferent, we just dont deal with and emote our feelings like you do. I did the same sort of thing with x right before her EA materialzied, and was one of the two points of contention and 'reasons' for her A. I know Corris XH did the same too, right before she decided she was dun. sort of a bucket tipper action.
I don't know about these statements you've made here. Just talking outloud, really... I hear what you are saying... but in the instances you are discussing, there were unresolved problems and tension present in the Rs... and NOT talking and communicating only made each situation worse. I consider 'emoting' feeling a form of communicating. Not the only form... but its presence or its absence can change 'meaning' dramatically.
I think in each instance you described... the woman did not feel safe, she felt emotionally threatened... and when we feel this way... we get emotional... irratic... overly clingy, then overly distant... irrational. We need 'to talk.' When we stop wanting 'to talk,' you'd better KNOW you've got a serious problem on your hands.
Anyway, I'm not so sure that it is a matter of a woman needing to share her feelings with the man all the time, or to have him be her girlfriend... I think it is more of an intuitive understanding of the woman that something is wrong, and having no idea what the problem IS or how to fix it.
And you know as well as I do... that when you are with someone whose company you enjoy... you talk. You 'emote feeling.' Maybe not 24/7... and quite honestly, in happy, well-balanced Rs, I don't think women in general need to always 'emote feeling' with their man. Yes, women need their girlfriends...
But. There are times when the man just has to get over himself and emote feeling with his W, and being 'a man'(and saying you just aren't wired like a woman) isn't a flipping excuse. It's not a matter of being a man or a woman. It's a matter of human empathy and compassion, and basic respect for your fellow being... it goes beyond wife and husband.
In each instance you described... I think, personally, they all went beyond the whole m/f thing.... but the man was instisting on keeping it a m/f thing so he just didn't have to 'deal.' So he could hide. No criticsm... I've done the same or worse myself.
And just like we girls have to learn how to be women... the boys have to learn how to be men.... and sometimes... in order for a boy to become a man, he has to get over himself and 'emote feeling.'
