HP, after reading your remarks, I realize I never speak about my true beliefs either. Ill happily join in on conversations about religion and argue with fundamentalists and evolutionists alike, debating both sides just to be honery, but noone ever knows what I believe. weird.

I'm hoping Corri will forgive us for hijacking.

UD
excuse me-- this is my thread. Corri doesnt have a say over who hijacks. and that was some good stuff.


Laura Doyle's ideas on inauthenticly kowtowing... submitting to the H, repulse me. The fake ditz, the calculating coquette...especially when they throw in that false subservience <barf>. It looks like you were able to take the good concept out of the trash. How can a woman respect a man when she 'acts' dumber then she is? If he cant see thru it, and appreciate her talents how can she feel loved, for herself? How can it be maintained if her demenor doesnt come from a place of respect and appreciation?

On your thread you and MTW were commenting and wondering about your choice of activities making you ... unacessable. I say NO WAY! I'll put in my change and say its not what you do. In fact you should do the things 'you love', to best find compatability. Not doing so is as bad as the women who come into diving, not because they want to try it, but because they're looking for a certain male demographic. I completely agree with putting yourself in a target rich environment, thats just smart, but do it with something you truly enjoy. Heck, thats why I took pysch classes when I was in school.
So, be your best. Be you and do what you enjoy. If that means beating the guys at NTN, or poker so be it.
It wont matter.

One of my first dates with x was a state fair. I love the basketball games. Im usually good at making baskets untill the carnies wont let me play anymore and then have my date carry around all those monster teddybears. I had done it just the day before, but that day with x.... I missed the first shot!!!<ohhhhh chagrin> she didnt.<ohhh humiliation> and she made me carry around the stuffed bear. she also wouldnt let me play again. man I was <grumble grumble> ticked off... but it was funny. I was able to do it in years after that, but it would just remind us of the first time.

at any rate, Its all about authenticity/congruence. Dont ever restrict, or otherwise hide your bright light under a basket. But when you find a guy you respect/love, their are lots of ways to show it and knock off some of the DAMN TESTING! lol That being said, I think women 'should' have a female support group as opposed to a male one. They need one, and commiserating with men in there time of need is just going to lead to confused feelings in one or both of them.

finally, the idea of allowing a guy to be a guy is interesting. FWIW, I comprehend you pain and needing Mr.W compassion during your grief over your youngest? D. I also see his remark as being... truthful... even though lacking compassion....kind of a deal with it, Im dealing with my pain, you deal with yours, kind of remark. In reality its not truthful in the sense that he probably was not indifferent, we just dont deal with and emote our feelings like you do.
I did the same sort of thing with x right before her EA materialzied, and was one of the two points of contention and 'reasons' for her A. I know Corris XH did the same too, right before she decided she was dun. sort of a bucket tipper action.

Ive put some thought into this, and I dont see any resolution to it, especially in conjunction with my beliefs on what attraction is. Its gonna happen. We are guys, you are women. I do think this is one instance that clearly demonstrates the females need for a support group of other women, because we cant always be that, nor are equipped to be your girlfriend.


by the way, your thanksgiving dinner Idea is really really good, and your unniversary day interaction was precisely the sort of authentic open emotional expression a man appreciates.