Corri,
Sorry I missed your birthday! Hope you had a nice one. I've been sorta keeping up with your threads--and everyone else's--but don't even turn my computer on some days. Been busy potty training BabyPot (can y'all believe that?!) who is now D2, amongst other glamorous activities.

Things have been topsy turvy in our home. I went through a brief period of LD-ness myself, Corri, and I still don't know the cause but it vanished as suddenly as it appeared. My suspicion is that H and I were just not spending any QT together as well as very little time even IN each other's private space. It was hard to then go to bed and get all cozy, if you kwim. Simply asking him to sit next to me at night, after the kids are in bed, has made a world of difference. In true MrH fashion, he says "Wow I wish I would have known this years ago.."

Also, there were some minor discoveries--on my part--that have...equalized..things, for lack of a better word. I found a notebook in a box in our basement where he was detailing his religious journey. Folks, it was a lot more intense than even I suspected. He was also a lot closer to leaving my ass than I realized. I doubt he ever woulda left, cause he is deadly fearful of change, but he wrote about being married as being a cross to bear, etc.
The other discovery I'd rather not go into on a public forum but it has to do with his family and some skeletons in the closet. Seems as though they were/are not as holy and perfect as was previously thought. I don't know what psychological impact this had on us (knock him down a notch? nah, that sounds punitive. Even footing? maybe, but not something I'd even previously thought I wanted..) but something has changed, and for the better.

Finding that notebook rocked my world for about 3 days. I hate reliving that shtuff. However, it helped me see why I perceived him as being so LD. Meaning, something happened to my HD husband to destroy his libido. Either that 'something' was pretty strong, or his libido wasn't what I thought it was. Ever since I joined this board, I thought it was a combo of the two--he was obssessed with religion AND he had low desire. Now I see that his libido didn't waver, he just suppressed it with an *enormous* amount of willpower. Amazing.

So, I've totally highjacked your thread Corri and for that I apologize.

I felt like I needed to chime in because damned if I didn't have Betsey's realization, like, friggin yesterday. No joke! I was mentally lamenting that I haven't had any outpourings of love from H in forever and I then said to myself, Well what in the hell have you poured out to HIM lately? And I repeated in my mind that you get what you give, over and over.

All my life I've been brought up to think that men should be falling at my feet, spilling out their desire and unending love, without me having to reciprocate in any way. I've even managed to secure a good number of men who were willing to live this way. H is, of course, the first that has signed up for that job permanently and it turns out that this is not a reasonable expectation, after all. lol

It's hard for me to give. I can do and do. Cook, crack jokes, ML, play horseshoes, yougetthepicture. But it is nearly impossible for me to give the good stuff, the stuff that is hidden inside.

Can I just leave it at that for a while?

Take care all and I'll stop in when I have another realization or whenever Betsey and Blackie shine their danged flashlights under the rock I've been hiding.