I'll just cut and paste the questions and my response to save bandwidth.
Q: Has she ever orgasmed, with or without you? A: I don't know about without, but she has with but never as a result of intercourse. I try to stretch it out but she knows how to make me orgasm and will do it as soon as she can even though I try to slow it down. She doesn't like receiving oral, so usually if she wants to orgasm I can do it manually. That happens about once every three months.
Q: Have you ever discussed with your wife what she considers to be non-sexual intimacy? A: Not as a direct question. In our last disagreement she said she wondered why we didn't go to mall or go for coffee when the kids were gone.
Q: When you perceive her reaction as being uncomfortable, have you ever asked her at that moment about it? IE. "When I hugged you just now, I felt that you were pulling away from me. Is that accurate and if so, why were you feeling uncomfortable?" What sort of reaction is she displaying that makes her seem uncomfortable? A: Yes. She denies being uncomfortable.
Q: What is she saying or doing that results in you feeling bad? A: She says things like "I feel like a piece of meat." In the aforementioned disagreement she kept saying "You just don't get it, do you?" As a question to why we couldn't just go have coffee instead of having sex. She is right, I didn't get it. We aren't alone very often. I would have been fine with going for coffee afterward.
Q: Does she acknowledge that lack of sex in your marriage is a problem for the marriage. Or has she told you that it is your problem alone A: Yes and no. She acknowledges that I want sex more than she does, but refuses to acknowledge it is a problem. She absolutely refuses to read TSSM, and contends our R is normal for us. In the end she simply says it's just a difference in drive.
Q: While women can and do enjoy sex without orgasm on occasion, I think the continual lack of orgasm will almost always result in a strong reluctance to have sex. A: OK, not a question but this is an interesting and true statement I think. I would love to give her an orgasm every time, she just doesn't have any interest in it.
