Ummmm, while I see your point...actually non-sexual intimacy needs to be present in your M as well. This is something my H and I had to work on. In our sitch it was my LDH who was the "why does everything have to be about sex?" person and I was the "because we haven't had it in three months".
There does need to be a non-sexual intimacy between the two of you that exists to some level. Some people need that more than others, perhaps that's one way she feels loved by you....and having that present to a larger extent might get you closer to your goal of more sexual intimacy.
My H and I got to a point where we never went out, never spent time alone with each other over dinner....talking, taking walks...what have you. Everything was about work and our son. There was no intimacy on any level. When we started making a concerted effort to have date nights at least every other week....we began to grow closer and the intimacy increased. I've found too that it's not the same type of intimacy you have with a buddy. It's different. Sure you may be doing things with her you could do with a friend....but it's spending the time with her (she may be a quality time person for her primary love language) that creates the bond she needs from you.
