Thanks for checking in on me!!!!
I am actaually going to have a great weekend cause I choose to not b/c my H is making it easy! Thank you very much. Shees I am getting Sassy, I get like that when I am angry...UGH.

He went out last nite with my brother and never came home...
I found out he was at his friends house my good friend dates his friend.. so he finally decides to call and he is joking around with me ( at 10 am, gimme a break..) I was not laughing toooo much. I did not yell but let him know it would be nice if he would have called, that I was worried sick. So then he tried to joke around some more but I was ready to cry( did not let him know I was about to cry).. sure he was trying to be nice and funny and talk to me lightly but I did not think it was funny I was really upset so anyway he said I was just calling to let you know I will be hime in a little while he is still not home and it is 3:35 pm. What angers me the most is he can spend a huge chunk of time drinking at his freinds and being just plain dumb. But he cannot spend that same amout of time with us doing something "we" ( me and the kids want to do).
WE always have to do what he wants and he rarely is ready to do anything that we want to do,, once in great while he will suprise us and be ready to do something fun,, he is a homebody and for yhe most part I am too, but a walk here or to go the local park and the kids can play would be nice too. he acts like he is cutting of his arm if he accomodates us on this so I rarely ask anymore and I am ok with it cause I will do these things with my children but at times he seems very selfish.
He has not done this in a loooong time and now I am afraid he is going to start this again like he used to.
But my sprits are good and my gaurdian angels are not letting me get down,, I dunno if he will ever grow up and it scares me and the funny thing is he will say I am immature...

I am not and he knows it but he thinks he knows everything,, sheesh I sure am bashing him ..

I love him but it is ok not to love his BS. Cause what he did was BS as far as I am concerned,,,, it is not just that he did not come home it is that why could he not have called me and let me know he was ok but he was too drunk to function.

It seems to me that idf he is not having some sort of affair with women he has to have an affair with alchohol,,

I know , i know he has good points too but you know I wonder if I am just being dumb by loving him so or I am being Christian.

I know as God is my witness that I am a very loving Woman but he is trying my patience.

To me is is as though he hates himself and he does not want my love and it is hard to keep getting rejected like that,, I am strong but jeez.... I walk around looking like Catherine Zeta Jones ( almost daily ,, cause he said I used to dress down too much and I am too classy to look bad!! ) and cooking like Martha Stewart and in the bedroom .. and yet I feel like I am not fitting the bill. and then he will say to me that he always felt like he wasnt good enough for me...

I am very confused.......
hE HAS NEVER BEEN TOO SPECIFIC OF WHAT "show me love " MEANS TO HIM HE SAYS I "should " KNOW???
Once in awhile he will tell me little things but for some reason he thinks ( his own words ) if I ahve to tel you then it isnt special when you do it for me,,, so OH yeah I forgot to say I am Houdini too,, I have to "MAGICALLY" guess what he needs.

Let me explain what I do for this man,,,,
he goes to work and I do everything else.. and I am not exaggerating a bit. The day we Reconciled in the morning he cleaned the whole house for me,, he told me that evening he loved me. ( I think I will post it here and you can give me your opinion of it)
Anyway,, I pick out his clothes in the morning.
I prepare him breakfast and now he is on a health kick so I prepare him a protein shake and his Vitamins.
If is is a work day I start cleaning the house we have 4 kids at home and the 5th lives with my mom he is 17.So that may take me awhile .
I help him run our Businness during the day.
Oh I forgot I get the kids off to school.
When the kids arrive I have dinner ready for them.
When hubby arrives I have the house immaculate and myself looking as "HOT" ((((LMAO)))) as possible. HOT in a Jackie O // Catherine Zeta Jones way not Pamela Anderson BTW.. LMAO again..
Ad you get the idae I spoil the h*ll out of him every chance I get. I also am a D*MN good cook if I say so myself he rarely and I mean rarely eats anything out of a box or freezer ready. Once in awhile he will give me time off ( for good behavoir??? ) and order out fod.
And you know what I do it without resentment or thinking why theF*ck do I have to do this..Well I better stop cause I am getting really SASSY NOW!!!!
GOD bless...