THANK YOU sooo much for your post,, I cried and cried some more and did watch the show. My H has also sed in the past he yells at me so I can learn just like the lady in the interview stated, her H would say???!!!???. I guess it is all he knows how sad...
I have to tell you that I am sooooooo proud of myself b/c last nite and today I have confronted my h regarding all this stuff. I figured if I do not he will lose , I will lose and our Kids will lose too.
WE had several long talks he has not agreed to couseling ( did not ask yet) but he has agreed that his behavior is not good. Today he lost his temper and I did not say anything just walked out and let him be.He then apologized, I told him that if he knew how it felt on the receiving end he would stop. I also talked to him last nite @ "OW" issue.He admitted that while he was down there the day I was so worried about when he went to the border that he did drop his sister off ( in city where "OW" lives at a gas station,but did not see "OW"!!!!!!!!!!
That she is history and he does not have any interest in her whatsoever.For him to be honest with me and not blow up is a major step for him...HUGE>>>>
...also on our way home from renting movies for kids.( In the past and even before he left for Mexico he would have let me go alone but I sed lets go get movies put on your shoes and lets go..)
...I sed I feel like having a bloody mary( he normally would have just kept going home) . And he turned left and went to a local bar we go to once in awhile since Reconciling and as we got out of the car he sed to me..
( and I had not mentioned the Tattoo,since he has been home!!! only here to you all )
" HEY honey I have to go and get my Tattoo!"
I sed " Yeah you do ,lets go sometime this week." He agreed ... So I am no nowhere near out of the water yet but I am making progress.....
I also talked to him @ his behavior while In Mexico,, and he tried to explain he is hard on everyone he loves and I explained to him well it is not ok...
He did not argue with me... I appreciate all you guys helping me and telling me to be heard. I was just waiting to say it when he is in front of me.... Last nite I aksed him if he loved me and he said of course I do and very much...He said many beautiful things to me and seemed to know that I have been thru h*ll with this "OW" garbage and reassured me that I had NO REASON to worry. I duno where tommorrow will take me but I hope that I can stay strong and not give up on him and he will remember what he said and will work on him.
I know that after I post here and I think alot about my M I tend to bring these issues to the forefront...
For example I told him last nite that my very close friend whom he respects has a friend that knows "OW" and that she is basically not a very good person ( A wh*re)and he admitted that he knew that( found out) and that he was sorry,, normally he would have blown up but he listened. And I also told him I knew this when we were separated and chose to keep it to myself and let him find out for himself , basically pointing out the obvious that I am a Beautiful Human Being... WE had a great time at the bar and talked more about us... and he did not have more than two beers in 2 hours of talking so I know he was listening...
With your help and my strength I hope to help him see he needs to change and he keeps his word and accepts this challenge.
I know that when he feels my strength he knows I am serious and he will lose me, and he does not want to. I just needed to give myself permission to use my voice and risk him not accepting what I said. After my post yesterday I decided to risk it and dive in...He would either listen and follow me to a more blessed M or get angry and lose me...
Counseling I will work on in the next few weeks and see if he will follow me there to,, when he sees how much better our life can be when he manages his anger he will see that I was telling him all these things from a place of love and nowhere else.
Thank you all so much for helping me and my children to hopefully have a richer life... GOD bless...
)
