I acept his calls b/c in the past he sed I was unavailable to him That could be taken in many ways. Did he specifically say unavailable by phone? I feel H is unavailable to me, but in the event that he would answer the phone if I would call him would not change the fact that he is unavailable to me in all the other ways of a H.

I am damned if I do damned if I dont Correct. So what would make YOU feel better and give YOU some peace of mind? Is it making you feel better to take/make those calls?

Live your life while you are still living.
Riding the trail less traveled.