Quote: I AM AFRAID FOREVER IS VERY APPROPRIATE IF HE CAN NOT SEE THAT IT IS unacceptable....
My father was verbally abusive. It was one reason my parents divorced and I basically never saw him after that (although he also traveled a lot in his work).
From what I've observed and learned, this is not easy behavior to change (even for people who want to change it). It is often something one learns from a parent and it's usually a pretty ingrained habit. If you can convince your husband to try, perhaps some type of behavior modification (or CBT) would be helpful. (i.e. practicing alternative word choices or behaviors during times of stress and anger. Practice and reinforcement to ensure automaticity of positive behaviors).
The thing you need to be cautious about is being codependent. Oftentimes people married to spouses who are alcoholic or abusive have codependency issues.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
