The thing is, I think it goes beyond the "H, this hurts me when you do this". It's about being just plain wrong. It's like telling the physically abused person to sit their spouse down and tell them it hurts when they slam them against the wall.
I guess what I am saying in this post and my last, is that I think the overall conversation, the "big" one she has with H should be of the "this is totally unacceptable behavior by a H towards his W and I won't have it anymore." The daily conversation/reminder I advocated is simply to underscore CONSTANTLY that this will not be accepted. It can be done with compassion and love but also a firmness that comes from knowing that this is simply not hurtful to Ali, but it would be hurtful to ANYONE.
It's not personal. It's not a sensativity in Ali that makes it wrong, it's general accepted human behavior when in a relationship, ANY relationship that makes it wrong.
