Alimari, hon, I agree w/grasshopper. One thing is to turn the other cheek (forgiving the A) another is to let him abuse you. By the second time he called you stupid you should've put your foot down and told him "call me back when you've calmed down because i WILL NOT allow you to talk to me that way, I'm trying to help you and I dont' need to her you calling me names"
You dont' need to just sit there and take it, hang up the phone and tell him to find his own way. I know he is with your D, but let him get out of the mess himself, let him find a way there.
Whenever I feel my H getting too loud (heaven forbid if her EVER called me anything!!) I tell him I'm just not going to talk to him until he calms down, and to take a break. You are letting him walk all over you, he has a huge anger problem, and I bet your D was listening too, what message is she getting? that mom loves dad unconditionally? no, she is getting the message that it is OK for a H to verbally abuse her W.
Hon, you know I'm on your side, but you need to stop the name calling NOW. If he starts to get too angry just tell him you both need a break and that you won't allow anyone to disrespect you nor call you names, that is just plain abusive.
My H (who also has an anger prob ) also gets frustrated and raises his voice, but he'll never lash out at me with the full intent of demeaning me and making me feel 1-inch tall.
Do get a C, it should help you lots, you need a third party to see the sitch from afar. There seems to be a pattern in which he is very mean to you, then latter he apologizes and thinks all is alright, it isnt alright.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
