update....

he called me back last nite to ask me to call him @4 a.m to wake him up so he can start driving again......


and this morning he is back to his sweet self and then we start talking about work and he says I am going to have to let you go... I had already said have a beautiful day I am going to let you go to him..... but he kept talking( he is having low grade anxiety everyday, I have it to by the way but do not blame others daily for it, I have had it for years and HE was presecribed meds and does not take them)

amyway,, he started to tell me he had to let me go cause I was going to get him upset like I did yesterday.... I nicely but firmly said I am not yelling at you and you are the one that gets yourself that way so have a beautiful day bye,,, and click I hung up....

when I called back a bit later to ask a question about work he was fine...
I tried to let him go like this yesterday and he would not have it he has to have the last word,,, so this morning I did not feel ike crying and I took the bull by the horns,,,,,


I am going to have a good day today regardless of the way my husband mood is,,,, I think I cried enough yesterday...

I am also going to call a Counselor for me... even if he does not want to go,,, I have to see one so that I am not so hurt by his mean behavior....

I hope it will help... I am alot stronger than I used to be I bounce back so easily and I know I can not expect perfection but he could be a little less brutal in the way he ta;ls to me when he is angry,, I allow myself to feel unloved when he treats me this way and it just ripples from there,,, I do not want to back into my shell like I had for YEARS!!!
I want to continue to be strong and Happy....

With prayer, more prayer and me being strong and loving myself I will be much better, I just know it,, the pain of what happened just months ago and how he turns on a dime,,, is still fresh but I must be strong.
I just talked to mY D9 who is with him and she made me smile...
I will have a better day today,, thank you God for blessing me with another day on this Earth, I will make it a good one.Regardless of what is put in my path( my H 's sour moods) I will honor your blessings in my life with a smile and love in my heart.
God bless....