Even through I don't think it was right for him to take his frustrations out on you, I'd probably look at my husband as having a problem and ignore him. I really try not to have too many expectations about my husband. I know he's flawed and we're going to have low times. I was listening to a divorce court judge on the radio a few weeks ago and she said she doesn't have a "great" marriage she has a "good" one. She said problems occur when people think they have a great marriage because then expectations are too high. Basically marriages are always full of ups and downs and sometimes those downs occur over a long period of time. She even said there was a good six months to a year over her long-term marriage that she didn't like her husband, but eventually things got better again.
Don't have expectations, everyone has faults and weaknesses that's just reality, and next time you're really bothered by something you're husband is saying you could always try telling him something like, "Hey sweetie, there's someone at the door. I got to go answer it," or "Let me go look that up for you and I'll call back in five minutes..." and don't give him time to answer!... or calmly... "Hey, I love and care about you, but I don't like what you're saying and I'm not going to listen to it. We'll talk about this later."
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
