I have been reading thru Gh's thread and read how ohters posted not to focus on the negative and focus on the postive,, I know In the beggining I did this and I need to get back to that !!!!!

....and yesterday him feeding me in my mouth and telling me he loved me and all the hugstoo, so--------->>>> ... I am going to just fear fear of the unknown and fear that my Heart is wrong...

...and why focus on that when everything is so awesome and I would have given anything to have a day like this when we were seperated AND EVEN BEFORE THE BOMB.....

He used to work away from home soooooooooooooo much for months at a time that this is like Heaven on earth...

That is why I let the small things slide and let him slip up and even though now we have had a talk just yesterday .

I will/need to ( for my peace of mind and sanity) refocus on how AMAZING this is and that he is here with me every nite and he loves me,, what more could a girl want? Trying to humor myself....

He will not be getting his Tattoo anymore this week, the guy who does it will be out of town tomorrow and not back til friday and so my H leaves on Thursday... Just great!! but he already put deposit so he can go when he comes home. )

Now I have to admit that this hurt my ego b/c his sister will most likely see his Tatto and she is friends with the "OW" and so "OW" will know he still has it and get an EGO trip... yes I am a little hurt right now but I shall try to keep positive and focus on all the good he has done for me.. just wish he would have covered the D*mn thing befroe going but I can not get everything I want I guess.....


I will be posting my feelings alot more these next few days ... and praying ALOT MORE too..
God bless....