There is a good passage about sex in the "passionate marriage". It's the person who you have sex w/that makes it good, it's your selfconfidence that makes it good, not acrobatics, it is the fact that you are ML w/the person you love.
I too have my moments of wondering about that, but you know what? to men it doesn't have the same significance as for women, my H told me it was just sex, to me it was a "joining of the souls" and that's why it hurt.
I've also been w/my only my H, no one before him. There is nothing he can say that will satisfy you (about how sex felt w/the op) you need to label it (the hurt and knowledge of his old SL) and remind yourself that that is old news now and that your H satisfies himself w/you, that you are the one he wants.
The knowledge will be there, but it is up to us to sterilize it, to see it coming and say "I know you, you are going to bring me grief, but you are not going to rule my mind", we need to minimize the amount of time we think about it.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
