If you are pulling back make sure you tell your H that you are not feeling well (ok, so he can see that but...) and that you need time alone, that way it wont' feel like a punishment to him, if that works for you more power to you, when I pull back it doesnt' seem to help me, but we all cope differently.
I pray that the bad moments are less and that when they come you are able to deal w/them in a healthy way.
Remember, the op just happened to be available, nothing about the person was so amazing or better than you, she was just there during a moment of weakness and bad judgment of your (and mine) H. I'll quote Aud who posted on mama's tread, something her mom told her as she too struggled with op's memories:
Quote: "Regardless of any of this, when it really comes down to it, YOU have much more power than OW. You are the mother of his children, the life-force of his home. She can never come close to that. He's not with her anymore, he's making efforts..."
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
