Going into the second month of my husband being back and it has been a rough few days. I've been obsessing about the OP and just how dramatically she was able to impact my family.

It's funny, but there are people whose sitches I read about who have minor affairs and I think why are they so upset? Not to minimize their feelings, but I'll think, gosh I just wish my husband had done that rather then divorcing me to be with OW. Of course there are other people who go through much more and I wonder how on earth they get through it. I wish I wasn't struggling with this soo much. At least I feel things in this recent backslide settling down. I hope I (we) have a good weekend. This has been so hard.... tell me two months is still early and I need to expect it to be this way.

I'm still feeling angry about all the pain my husband caused and the damage to the kids (and yes, there WAS damage). It also upsets me to think how this all may effect their future relationships.

I know I need to get over this to make everything work, but I can't forgive my husband right now. But I do want to get there.

So here's a problem.... It's not healthy to stuff negative feelings like this and not talk them out. If we do that it just perculates. Yet talking about it is hard, can be ugly and the spouses don't always want to hear it. They just want the whole thing to disappear. On the other hand we need to be open and talk about things to reestablish intimacy. How do others deal with this????

I really think too much. I need to GAL more.

There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.