Here's another thought to consider.... it may or may not apply to Mrs. TL....
One thing about being an attractive tomboy (similar to how Mamabear probably sees the more negative "side" to some men - and women too - that would be more visible working in a bar), is that you do get hit on, and by wanting to be "one of the boys," you have to come up with distancing "techniques" to avoid sexual advances from these guy friends.
Your wife may have had some negative experiences while young or growing up and that may be why she's had some discomfort in the past (or even current) with sex that's not romantic, conventional, etc...
Just a possibilty to think on.
I'm soooo glad to read that things are going well for you two. I'm still on the bumpy road myself and hoping to eventually be where you are. Seeing all the positive relationships in progress does help. It gives me hope. (I just have to stop fighting the waves!).
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
