Quote: It bothers me that he didn't mind getting that intimately involved with a married person.
Well this really gets at the heart of things. I think mature attraction is based on more than just the physical/biological/chemical.
I know that I can find a woman physically attractive or not, but if her character repels me, then forget it.
That's why I was concerned for such a long time about my M...it's not like my W simply told me she was done and walked away, got involved with OP...she helped wreck OM's marriage (not sad for him, but I am for his wife, who I know), insured our M was in the toilet (which also hurts our children), lied to and used our friends and family, and pretty much had me convinced that all the bad stuff I saw in our M I was delusional about, crazy.
So when I think on that, I find her completely repulsive.
However, the way she's acted since the bomb has been almost exemplary, which also has me worried that she bounces between those extremes. That's why I used to post on here that I was worried she was just a train wreck, mentally, and we would never have a strong, healthy marriage even if I were superhusband because she's just nuts. And I confess there's a part of me that still fears that.
I do think she romanticizes things way more than she admits. I have often described her as the most level-headed flake I know, and there is certainly that aspect to her personality.
She has a marked inability to see the big picture most of the time in a way that I don't understand. She admits this, tells me she needs me because I always see the forest whereas she only sees the trees she wants to see.
In terms of our faith she also admist she knew it was wrong the whole time she was doing it but didn't care. Decided she would sin now, then repent later, because he was wonderful and worth it.
Of course he was also a liar and a cheater, but that didn't matter. And he was an alcoholic (a fact he hid from her as long as he could), suffered from depression (gee, reckon why?), and also very likely concealed the fact he had an STD from her (since genital herpes very often is non-symptomatic, he most likely figured she'd never develop it).
Like my football coach used to say, if you lie down with dogs, you're going to end up with fleas.
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. -- Inigo Montoya, 'The Princess Bride'
