I know everyone here says you don't want to know details, leave the past as the past, and don't discuss it. But I still want to know more. I want more information. I've read books that say the only way you can rebuild trust is through honest communication... and that includes talking about the affair. If they talked about us to the OP and that created a sort of special bond, how can we not have a special bond without similar sharing of thoughts and experiences?
I think we go through phases. I for one, sometimes thinks that the past is the past. Forget about it. He's here now.. But on the other hand, you want him to tell you what's so great about the ow etc etc. Why and what they did etc.. but I think knowing more also makes us more negative for the present and future. Many times, things were really good between us, and I would have the BIG mouth to ask a certain question, and the truth really hurt like hell, and then I would be grouchy and sad etc.. and it thus fouls up the rest of the day and even more.. So, I guessed the BIG picture is to let bygones be bygones..
