What is wrong with me? I think I must be doing this because I'm so afraid of going through all this again BINGO!!! This is IT, my dear. You are afraid that he's going to go to her again, and you would have to go through all the pain. With you telling him to go to her, you have "prepared" you mind, and you wouldn't have to be "hurt" per se when he goes to her.. BUT..my dear, you will still be hurt if he really does.
I have to admit that I did do something like that too. And I did say that he should go to her if he loves her so much, and that she makes him happy blah blah blah. And that he's back only because of the kids blah blah blah. In one of our recent "discussions", H got alittle impatient with me and said "you only hear what you want to hear. And you only hear the negatives! What about all the positives??" So, I guessed my advice here is to stop harping about him wanting her... I am sure that your H cannot be "forced" to stay with you against his free will. One thing my H said to me sometime back was "I need you to help me to come back to you", i.e they do have thoughts/wants to be with us but have that incy wincy bit of doubt and that little bit of help from us (our niceness, forgiveness etc etc) will be the push for them to come back...
