As usual.... great advice to print out and read over and over...

My husband went on his computer last night and deleted all those emails. It's probably a good thing he realizes what a great detective I am so he can get rid of any other signs of her. I'm just too nosy and too clever at searching out information.

There still are a lot of principles here that bother me. For example, what seems like an endless stream of lies. It boggles my mind that a person can lie so much and then continue it even when they are discovered. I feel like there's absolutely no way on earth I can trust anything he says. I even am wondering if it truly is over. Earlier in the divorce he assured me the affair was over, but evidentailly that was just more lies. He even said couldn't possibly have a relationship with someone in another state since she was going back to her husband, and he told me he was planning to set up some local dates!!!! Also, he wouldn't give me a date when the A ended. All I wanted was a month and he absolutely refuses to tell me.... but he did admit that he talked to her during the summer and the emails show that....

It's funny because I had wondered what was holding him back. He spent a lot of time with me, didn't seem to be going out on dates, yet still wanted that divorce. Now I feel like I have a clearer idea why it might have taken him so long to "come around."

All along he was corresponding with her! Quite honestly, I think it was my mean emails and the stuff I told her husband that did cool the whole thing down.

Oh well enough venting!!!! I do realize I need to PMA, 180 and probably even more importantly GAL. Enough is enough. I do feel like I got some garbage out at least. I won't bring any of this up tonight. I need to put my mind elsewhere and instead of focusing on my marriage just work on myself, my family, my friends and a friendship with my husband.

Yes, I will stay the course. I have kids and my plan all along has always been to raise them with my husband. Thanks for the positive posts. More notes for the ol' PMA notebook!!!!

There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.