Ahhh...who cares what he wrote? What we've got here is a couple of people with poor judgement addicted to the lowest common denominator (feelings) that they experienced together because of how the most self-centered part of their brains trigger their organs to dump chemicals into their bloodstream because of how they want to see themselves. That's what that boils down to. It's all smoke and mirrors.
Be glad. Many people make that crap permanent and throw everything down the toilet chasing a mirage and in nearly every case realize much too late that it was never worth it.
Quote: I'm second choice.
Really? He stopped the D and moved back home because you're second choice? You're no such thing.
But you feel like it, I know, cause there are days when I do, too. And, let's face it, both your H and my W could toss us aside a year from now. That's just the reality, but at least we're not living under their illusions now.
However, letting those feelings of despair dictate your attitude and behavior now is really just doing what the cheaters did: allowing your feelings to control you, rather than making sound choices then following through regardless how it feels sometimes.
Detachment is for life. You've got to press on and become the person God calls you to be, no matter what.
Man, that's easier to type than to do
The nice part is coming back together and sharing from a position of strength rather than neediness. The nice part is knowing that you're doing it the right way, not destroying someone else's family over it. I've had a taste of how good it can be and it's worth it.
Getting over HIS past actions may not be something you feel like doing, but remember you also get to jettison your baggage as well. You can't hold his failures against him, but he likewise doesn't get to hold yours against you, or use them to justify his nonsense.
It's hard to chunk that stuff. We get into these sitches because, among many reasons, we started collecting all the failures and hurts and clubbing each other with them, letting them pull us down like an anchor tied to our legs. And usually it's because we already abandoned each other to one degree or another.
But he's home, you're together, and you're committed. You've got to stay the course. Like you said,
Quote: I'm really looking forward to piecing and trying to get my family closer together, stronger and healthier.
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. -- Inigo Montoya, 'The Princess Bride'
