Yes yes.... intellectually I know things, but emotionally it's like being ripped to shreds. My stomach twists today....
Yesterday I learned the affair went on much longer than I realized (it was still going during the summer.) Unfortunately I'm just too darn good with a computer and figuring out passwords. So I was able to get into husband's email and see some messages he wrote to her. Of course I cried for 10 minutes then hooked up the printer to get copies of them to send to OWs husband.
I'm sorry but it makes me sooooooooooo mad that when they both said it was over and "I'm never going to see or talk to your husband again" they were still corresponding.
And cr@pp, I was having sex with my husband while he was still mooning about OW!!!!! Here he was writing her messages of how beautiful she was and commenting on how much she smiles and laughs and I was used for sex and getting messages about splitting assets!!!!! Grrrrrrrr
What hurts most was being used and kept on a string. I was the default. I'm second choice.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
