nope, it didn't pass, you are still excusing your actions and deep inside you are planning on doing it again 'til you drive your H nuts.
Yes, I'm probably excusing my behavior. But I did feel an overwhelming need to confirm that the affair truly did happen (previously I could only share my suspicion that it occurred). This time I had more information, so I could confirm it with certainty. Also, I now was certain they spent the night together at least three times.
So, what difference does it make that I told him?I've gotten this off my chest. It's no longer some ugly secret waiting to pop out. It happened, it's acknowleged, and it's slowly losing the power to disturb me.
Suprisingly it didn't drive my husband nuts this time. And he didn't get angry with me. He just said he didn't care and that he was going to stay out of this. Interestingly, this response helped me lose some of my anger at both of them.
I think there's a part of me that expected him to "support her." In the beginning of all this he did support her and he protected her (although they were still sort of together back then). That completely infuriated me and made me feel even more revengeful. Having his kindness and support has made me less angry. It also has made me feel more like I do want to move forward.
Deep down I am not planning anything. I truly don't have any desire at this time to do anything like this again, but I can't predict I won't have those feelings again. I can only hope they will decrease with time.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
