No, so far I don't drink a great deal (definitely not nightly!), and I'm pretty good at limiting myself to one drink when I go out... but sometimes those bartenders make them strong!!!!!

I'll probably continue to go out, but I think for a healthy marriage that should be limited. One problem I believe in my marriage is my husband's father used to go out with friends sometimes and his wife (now ex-wife after 32 years) would stay home with the kids (she didn't drink and frowned on his drinking). I think it was absolutely too much partying (even through he was an extremely successful person... VP of a major international banking institution prior to retirement), and he also had affairs on his wife. So for my husband this must seem normal while I didn't grow up in this type of environement. My family basically hung out together. Even when my parents were married my dad didn't stay out late with his buddies on weekends.

Here's where I think the problem is. Drinking and being out where people meet is risky. It provides opportunities and when one is drunk they are more likely to disregard consequences. I think my husband's affair was fueled by that whole scene, and now that I've been observing it and part of it I can understand how easy it can happen.

By the way, I've been absolutely horrible since last night. Did a bit of snooping (I know you guys warn me not to! I definitely need a big kick in the butt!!!) and then out of jealousy did some bad things. I don't even want to write about this because I'm so embarrassed. What I did was really stupid and I didn't listen to you guys. I could of used you ladies at my house, holding my arms and keeping me away from the phones!!!

I like many things about myself, but gosh this is where I am massively flawed. I need to go meditate or take some zanex!!!! Here I think I'm so strong and "together" but I'm finding I have plenty of struggles sometimes too.

There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.