Wow, I just reread that post and didn't realize I left that last paragraph on!!!! I actually didn't mean to leave it on. It was a strange evening for my husband because being with a group of women other men didn't associate him with one particular woman (we didn't "look" like a couple). So while he sat at the bar next to one of my friends she told me she could see him watching out of the corner of his eye as he observed different men flirt with me.

It's really interesting because my husband is not a jealous type whatsoever and this whole divorce and me GALing has really challenged him in an area he has never really thought too much about.

I do think the "leaving me" was not as difficult as the idea of me possibly being with someone else. Maybe he was just so used to having me there for him? He's always felt pretty certain he can trust me explicitly, but once I really started detaching and he began to realize I could go on with my life and other men would be there waiting... I think that may have put him over the edge.

I even remember during the divorce him being so bothered by the idea that I would "find someone first." Because I'm a generous sort I told him, I'd be happy to wait until he found someone before I started dating. He thought this was weird. But I told him it wasn't a race and that I really didn't care that much. I wasn't in any hurry.

This whole thing has been such a strange, eye-opening experience. People can be so fascinating (even this person I've known for over half my life!!!!).

Alimari, I think there are some things our husbands have to work through by themselves... and I also think there are some things we have to work through on our own as well. I think it takes some time and building of friendship before other things can be worked through together. Just strengthening that friendship is such an important step. I hope you are able to move beyond the h#@@. It sounds like you know where to go and from what I've read about your sitch, you've been remarkably strong.

There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.