Time to Rebuild

[Jen_Jam]

VERY good point Jeff - I realised a while back I didn't want my old H back. If he continues to be the old person then it ain't gonna work.
However...he has started to realise his part in it. He realises if he doesn't like something he has to find a way of letting me know (and I have to listen). He has begun to read DR, his comments are in an earlier post. I am willing to give us another 6-12 months of RR (R rebuilding). I am also probably going to work on the 80/20 rule - if it's great 80% of the time I'll forgive the 20% when it's not so great. No R is perfect.
Once we've done RR I envisage RM - R maintenance, whereby we will both have to make sure we give the R the attention it deserves.
Phew! When they said you have to work at a M they weren't kidding! But it's worth it. I know for the future that even if one day things between me and H dont' work out that I will have become a far better person and will have done all I can to keep the love alive. There are no guarantees in any M.
OK - onto tonight's positives:
H called when he got out of work to find out if I had any plans. I said no so he said he was going for a swim. I said that was absolutely fine. (Old me would want him home sharpish on a Friday to entertain me and think that if he didn't do that it meant he loved me less. What a fool I used to be!)
After he came out from his swim, he rang again to say he was having trouble getting a bus (a car accident blocking off the street) and he would be back late. Again, I said that was absolutely fine.
So the old pattern of him trying to rush home to keep me happy is long gone.
The new pattern is he phones me and I am happy he's rung and fine with him being late. In the bad old days he gave up calling me to say he would be late. Just an example of where there is a little give & take on BOTH sides.