Time to Rebuild

[Jen_Jam]

We-el, he recomitted when I nearly became a WAW.
I had seen that things between us were good, but he still wasn't saying anything. I felt like "what more do I have to do here?" and started to feel that if I couldn't coax it out of him by my actions then it couldn't be done. I was a WAW for about 24 hours - I had the planning done. I decided to give it a shot before coming out and leaving. If H had said he was still in ILYBINILWY then I probably would have thought about leaving properly.
However, he did want to recommit and we are still in talking stage. Things are good, we're very close and he's being far more attentive and I've found a better way to disucss my complaints in the R without blaming or attacking him. Today he has even promised to start reading DR and he is going to give me his thoughts tonight! He has started to realise that the things he does had an impact on our problems, and that he will have to make changes (for example, his conflict avoidance and his unwillingness to go outside of his comfort zone).
Only time will tell if we can rebuild OK, but HE is the one who keeps saying "we will be allright".
It's a bit of a tricky one cos at first I felt like opening the floodgates but then I remembered my patience - we can tackle this slowly and carefully.
So, to sum up, he didn't just recommit I got to the end of my patience. But he is someone who doesn't like to rock the boat so DB'ing worked for him - I was happy so he didn't need to make any changes. Now the DB'ing has to change slightly. I'm keeping an eye that I don't push him too much, part of the reason I'm still here. But I'm much calmer than before, it's just that the "second honeymoon" I was expecting - you know, WAS recommits, violins start playing, fireworks go off and they fall happily into each others' arms - hasn't yet happened. We're still wary and learning, but it feels much better. Rather than giddy with happiness I'm warm with hope.
So - that's where I am. I don't know how it will be for you guys when your WAS's recommit (which I'm sure they will). Maybe it's a little embarrassing for them "Hey Honey you know I walked out on you well I messed up". I know my H would like to forget the past. SD I think your H is a lot like mine - you may need to give him a little push when the time is right. Mine recommited when he realised he might lose me. I'm not sure, we still haven't discussed this but when I became a WAS it seems to me that it really shook him.
So - the DB way would be to GAL GAL GAL but invite them along. If they say no their loss. They might just realise that one day you might just GAL your way out of the door. But DON'T make an empty threat - mine wasn't. I didn't become a WAS to make H come back to me.
Does this make any sense?