I have a long story, but a specific question. During a year apart from my W, I developed some friendships with younger girls that work with me. I was on a team with them and we would rarely go out. Now that we are back together she was jealous of them. One of them, while drunk, called and said an inappropriate sexual innuendo which I pretty much blew off, but my W felt it was much more serious than that. I can understand her point and definitely wouldn't like it myself. I should have said something the, but I didn't.
Anyway, while my "wife" (we are divorced) was out of town, I was invited to go out with these girls to a bar. I ended up going out for a couple hours. Nothing happened (nor did I want it to), but I didn't tell my W, lied about it and then angrily defended the lie (this is an understatement...it was pretty bad). Obviously a really stupid thing to do. Now my wife truly feels that I had an affair and that something is even still going on. She looks at my e-mail and my phone, which is fine because I hope to reassure her, but the problem is that it doesn't reassure her. The truth is, I don't have, nor have I ever had, an interest in this girl (or any other of these girls) beyond friendship. And this isn't what you'd call a real serious friendship. I could take it or leave it. We have a short conversation or two a week, I've went to lunch with her once (while still living separately from my W), and have went out to a bar a total of three times in 2 years with her. It's not a big deal. I should also mention that the girl she thinks I'm having an affair with is in a serious relationship and I'm sure she's not interested in me in that way either.
Because of the lie, I feel I deserve her suspicions and accusations, but I'm having a difficult time with it. I'd like some advice on how to restore the damaged trust. I'd also like some thoughts on how I should deal with the accusations. It's hard because there is nothing going on and never has been, but how do I convince her of that when she can easily figure it's another lie.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
