I have been DBing for over a year. Things had gotten to a nice peaceful spot -- or so I thought, but H before he left town to visit his family told me again he is very unhappy.
He said he wants to resolve the problems between us - but when he says that he really means he wants a divorce. Several times we have gone to a counselor, then H says he wants a divorce, then he doesn't do anything to get one and our lives hobble along.
Now he even accuses me of infidelity since I take birth control pills. I'm 47 and we've been married 19 years. These suspicions started when I started doing things without him -- going for walks, out to dinner etc -- as he wouldn't come with me.
We have three children and are both good parents. Our careers and marriage have suffered because our priorities are on the children.
I have made lots of improvements. Son told me it was the best Christmas in many years -- H doesn't like Christmas so I didn't ask him to do anything. He finally suggested I put up the tree. I thought things were going well and I could relax a bit.
So I was ready to concentrate on my own career and health and now there are the veiled divorce threats again.
Is this as far as I can get?
He was emotionally and verbally abusive and totallly depressed. I have made changes that have triggered changes in him for the better. For example, having the children's friends over for dinner helped to stop his raging at everyone during meals.
I fixed my own flat tire and the heater. Also, friend helped install toilet seat. While he's gone I plan more improvements.
He once said he wanted me more independent. I've always worked and we each make about the same $$$. Yet, I sense that when I look happier without him he becomes angry.
