Thanks for the response. Pulled up this thread today to reread. Looked at my response on Friday and realized that what I wrote on this board is just complaining and 'more of the same'. Consequently - not getting the results I am looking for.
Over the last couple of months since I began to consciously apply DB techniques and deliberatly learn how to control my emotions and do some 180's in my behavior - I have noticed changes in my H's reactions towards me. Good changes. and even though I have made an effort not to ask for anything - he has made progress in trying to do for me. Baby steps. I need to remember to pay attention to those and keep positively reinforcing his efforts.
So after thinking about your response re: our sex life, decided that I would try the act 'as if' this weekend. So I acted 'as if' things were fine all along, did my own flirting w/ him, etc. and decided ahead of time that if I didn't get the the response I was hoping for, I wouldn't take it personal. in other words, I had to prepare mentally for the anticipated rejection. and guess what - we had more fun 'at home' this weekend than we've had in a long, long time.
Then H really surprised me. Household chores is another area of HUGE conflict with us. I stopped asking for help on this a long time ago - cause it just didn't do any good. and typically, since H doesn't help much around the house, the kids seems to think this is just my job too.
I started my normal Sunday cleaning routine yesterday, and lo and behold - H jumped right in and started helping. doing dishes - no less - which he hates. also got the kids helping too. the house was spotless in a few hours and we had the rest of the day to 'play around' some more. I also thanked him and let him know how much I appreciated his pitching in without my having to ask.
Maybe things are starting to turn around for us. I am feeling much more optomistic today. I'll keep reading DR and this BB to help me stay solution-focused and I'll keep watching for more baby steps.
as someone once told me - the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
Thanks Michele - hopefully I can post as one of your "Divorce Busted" success stories someday.
