Excellent post though I will stop short of saying that fear is causing inaction on LL's part. I have met LL and my impression of her is that she is a strong, vibrant, intelligent woman. But this situation is causing uncertainty and I could agree perhaps she is overthinking her options. But this is not an easy situation to live with.
Now on to the real reason for my post. When you mentioned that you are modeling a sad way of life for your children, I couldn't agree more. Children do tend towrds the behaviors of their parents. But that isn't really what that sparked. Sometimes, people think they are doing their children a favor by staying together. What I have found though is that younger children handle the change more easily than older children. I have no science to back it up, but that is the impression.
LL, you have been in limbo for a long time and nothing is improving. And from what you say, it is getting worse. At some point, you do have to make some choices. Oldtimer is saying, you really just can't let this continue. You need to make a decision and follow it through. You're a terrific woman and if you are free from this crap, even that will improve.
