ugh!

[cat03]

First of all I want to commend you for making a life for yourself outside the selfishness of your H. I think that it should be a joint effort to work on the M,(he should be pulling his own weight) but maybe ask him what he'd like to do, what are his intersts, it seems his idleness is taking him down the road of booze/porn. What does he do for a living, or what was something he always wanted to do? I love the suggestions you had, but maybe he would be more intersted on something else.

Addictions are hard to break if the person doesn't accept he has them, he doens't see a prob thus he doesn't think there is anthing to fix.
It might be beating a dead horse, but have u thought about trying for a C that focus on solutions rather than digging in the past? My C is that way, of course we had the obligatory individual session so he could be familiar w/ our background, but afterwards we only talked about solutions and how we could both work together. It took a third time to find this C but he is just excellent, my H who never opened up to the first 2 was able to feel confortable enough to say his peace w/our current C.

I pray your H sees that the additions are tearing your M appart and decides to break them, and for you to remain strong)))))))))))))))