I was thinking about you and wondering how things were just the other day... didn't know if you were still posting somewhere in the further regions of this board!
Your H's drinking and porn watching may be "not a problem" for him, but they clearly are for you!
I felt for many years that I was married to a stone wall. Sure, we had good times, but in certain areas, there was absolutely NO communication. While I used to believe that it was something to do with not being able to communicate, I now believe that it often suits the "stone wall" to keep stum.
I used to think that abusive men meant those who hit you, and I for one would have been out of a marriage where that started to happen. But after reading Lundy Bancroft's book "Why Does He Do That?" I got a little wiser. Abuse can come in all shapes and forms, including covert and passive agressive. Do read this book if you haven't already.
If this man truly seems content to have a non-relationship with you, I would seriously wonder if he doesn't have another life somewhere else, unbeknownst to you.
Sorry I can't offer much "happy" stuff, it is just what comes to mind from my view here. You may want to seriously decide what YOU can tolerate if H sees no problem.
Hugs,
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
