I have read your books and I think that they are wonderful. I have tried to use your techniques. I was wondering if you could help my "Satlemate". I will not sign separation paperwork, which totally angers my H. He says that I am controling his life. I have tried to "go dark" at this stage, however, it is causing us to be at a "Stale-mate". Friday, H and I went to counseling. I found a counselor who is will try to save the marriage. My H trying to convince the counselor to convince me that the divorce is best for both of us. When I first met with the counselor alone, I told him (the counselor) that I did not want to have anything to do with a counsleor who didn't believe in marriage commitment. The counselor told me that he is there for me and that he is a believer in making marriages work. I intend on "going dark" for approximately two weeks (no contact at all). I have to put a limit on this becuase I have to get my husband into counseling. For the next two weeks, my counsleor will be working with me on a list of things that will make me happy and things that I would like my H to do (equivalent, I guess, to your "baby steps".) Can you tell me if you think that I am going about this correctly and what else you think that I can do? H claims to only have a "freindship" with a woman in a foreign country, however, I do not believe that it is only a friendship. Plus he is very stubborn. Please see stich "Mid-life crisis at 28" under "I need Support". Thanks.
