Been just lurking for awhile. I check in and read but haven't posted on my own.
Several reasons. 1. Felt like I was almost there and I think in some cases talking about it can be a real hindrance. Like we get the satisfaction before actually before actually getting the job done and there is less motivation to actually get the job done because we have already recieved some of the satisfaction. Does that make sense at all.
These boards and the people here are wonderful and I wouldn't be where I am without them. However I think at certain times they can be a hindrance.
2. Feeling like success is so close I felt I could really help others once acheiving that success and wanted to wait for it. Although all of us who've been through it know that success is irrespective of whether our mate is still with us, it's a bunch of hooey to a newbie.
3. Some of my recent ponderings have been around some enlightenment caused by a certain book reccomended by TJ. Some of that material just doesn't seem proper on a mixed gender board (although it really is, it just doesn't seem that way)
Along those lines something thought provoking.
W and I recently rescued a Siberian Huskie. Adopted her from the pound. Huskies really exhibit pack animal characteristics. When the evil C started counselling my W much of what she was giving her was based on an audio program called "Women who run with the wolves". I think this program was huge in starting the feminist movement.
Anyway it likens women's characteristic to wolf traits. How they need their independence and breathing space. All that good stuff.
Well in working with this dog I realized how much the dog respected me and did as I wanted if I was the Alpha male. But if I gave in to it it walked all over me. I saw quite an analogy here and it provoked a great deal of thought.
Anyway
So you probably don't know circumstances of my first days on the board here but to give you a synopsis, my wife and I had gone through some very traumatic times. We were in fear for our lives at times. We definetely were at risk of losing everything at the very least. We had many people trying to persecute us. Looking back I feel we were both in this constant surreal state of panic.
So wife and I are talking and she says something to the effect of the need for the last two years of therapy and personal growth was the result of the things that happened to us back then. I see what see's doing. It appeares whe wants to move forward and not feel guilty for trying to leave the marriage. Ain't no way I would guilt her in any way anyway. I think she was just feeling it out.
Seemed that way anyway.
Things are good. No more wierdness. She's skipped the last few evil C appointments. Her body language towards me has changed completely for the positive. Especially in the last two days. We seem to be back to us.
She's out Christmas shopping for me now but we all know what I really want.
