It seems to me the REALLY great thing was that you allowed her to reject you safely. You didn't get in a mood, etc, you just let it happen and walked away. It's not like you have to give her permission to reject you but it seems like this may be a step towards her feeling like you can be strong in the situation, i.e. initiate with your action, but she still has control over what she wants to do. No pressure, no guilt, just a man expressing his desires for his W.
I HOPE she will see it that way but no worries.
I am SO glad you got over this hurdle but I am not too happy that she shut you down.
Honestly, I thought your "actions" would work but don't despair, I think you will eventually get somewhere via this new-found ability to risk rejection.
I was holding my breathe reading that I really am proud of you - you tried and it didn't quite come off but you lived and you must have just swept away about a million eggshells from under your feet (because there was still some residue hanging around from before)
Quote: eventually the pillows go in between us. In about a halk hour she gets up to go to the bathroom and when she returns she gets in the other bed.
wonder who she can't trust You or Herself????
Quote: We had met a woman there that totally fit into my "type" profile which is pretty specific. I'm certain my W recognized this before me. She kept bringing her up. and did so the next day too.
whats this all about? and why bring it up the next day? this is interesting you are so much better than me by the next day I would have been saying 'look if she is that important to you why don't you go find her'
I think my smart mouth gets me in trouble - whoops - my bad
have you heard that before - I think it is a pretty cool saying the aussie kids say it a lot when you do something and its not real good you just say whoops my baaaaad
there is no comment you can really make to reply to it
anyhow back to more important things
Quote: The next morning things were good.
god would I like to know what she was thinking when life went on like nothing happened were you drinking do you suppose she put it down to your drinking
Quote: I feel pretty damn good about myself and her response to me has nothing to do with me.
and so you should feel good - you tried something different wonder if next time you go somewhere you should book the sleeping place - and then you could book two seperate rooms with a smile 'sweetie - you obviously don't want to sleep with me and I don't want to try and sleep with you after a few drinks so I figure this will suit you better'
maybe its time for a little 180 on your part? so how are you going to do that then?
what do you have coming up next so that you can be the exact opposite of how you were this time maybe NOT dancing maybe dancing with other people
maybe using body language to indicate that you might just might be checking out the talent in the room a bit too much
come on whats the next plan the more you move away the closer she comes the closer you get the more she moves away
what about dropping the rope just as christmas is coming up and you will be invited out to lots of places
what about not window shopping together or doing much together
what about buying yourself a book on body language did you know that less than 10% of communication is verbal think about it you tell someone to come near you without talking and you tell someone to stay far away and not even try to talk to you without talking what else can you say without talking
bj ps am so glad you are alive now all we need to do is work out this little bit of the puzzle and how it all fits time for trying different stuff I reckon
Quote: you must have just swept away about a million eggshells from under your feet
Yeah the difference in me is incredible. Anxieties and fears all gone. Obsessing over the sitch gone. For years it was a constant obsession, I forget about it once in awhile now.
Trouble is previously my desires were needs I guess. They were negative like I needed to draw from her. Now they are positive but incredibly strong. It was like before I wanted to suck energy from her, now I want to give it to her (really give it to her). Really an unexpected transition. Really hard to restrain.
Quote: whoops my baaaaad
Oh yeah, they been saying that for years.
Quote: god would I like to know what she was thinking when life went on like nothing happened were you drinking do you suppose she put it down to your drinking
Yeah me too. We were both drinking but I was being pretty careful. I was wondering if she didn't remember it but there's just no way. I think she's just holding on to ideas that don't make any sense to hold onto. But I think she's having a harder and harder time of it.
She tells a story about going to her doctor years ago. Her doctor is overweight and out of shape. He was giving her health and fitness advice which she was listening intently to when she realized he was also eating a jelly doughnut. She decided at that time she was listening to the wrong person about health and fitness. I see a parrallel here with the evil C. I just can't see it any other way at this point. We've both grown immensely and are still growing but things are damn good between us except for one thing and there just doesn't seem to be any reason for it.
180?
I don't think I can help but 180 the way I feel. Everything is different.
that evil C and the comments about the doctor that's what you have to do next time evil C thing comes up
blow it off like say - yeah whatever
she will ask what you mean then you say it kind of reminds me of the doctor story you told me about years ago here she is helping you when she couldn't even save or help her own marriage so my 'whatever' is a total lack of belief in her to constructively help others
now you say
Quote: before I wanted to suck energy from her, now I want to give it to her
and of course its a better place to be - but you need the balance in that you have gone from one end to the other - find the balance
thats where the key lies
I can't believe I got up this morning and jumped on here - just like old times - and there you where
I had a dream the night before last that you came over, spent the day with my wife and told her how it was. Made her see what she was missing. Straightened her right out. Funny huh.
