Hey Xue glad you opened up the communication channel on this
of all the males I have spoken to in person and in writing you truly have to be one of the best communicators I have come across you have a brilliant mind - you also have brilliant body language (I see you from your writings) though language is only 20% verbal I truly think that you have given 150% on the non-verbal and now need to put in the same effort on the verbal side
I also see your wife as being at the stage where she sees and recogises the signs but is unsure what to do about it all - in the back of her mind (as in yours I am sure) there is still that little voice saying 'yes but what if you read it wrong'
I really think if you two can sit down - and have a solution -focused discussion not one about what went wrong or goes wrong but more one of those miracle question conversations you know the one where you sit down in a nice comfortable safe place and you ask her if a miracle occurred tonight while she was sleeping and when she woke her life was great and all problems where fixed what would her life look like? and as she was asleep when the miracle happened how would she know it had happened what would be some of the things that would be different that would indicate to her that life was different and that the miracle had happened
I think you are both in a position to ask each other this question - to talk about it in great detail and paint a very descriptive picture of life after the miracle happened
I see you both so close to where you want to be but I also see you both a little worried about taking that first step
maybe after your formal party when you are both in that place where you feel comfortable after a great night you can say 'can I ask you a question that you don't have to answer now but one that I would like to ask and talk about over the next few days with you'
good luck Xue I think you are both teetering on the edge you just need to overbalance a little to fall into the future
