So in thinking about all the above suggestions I've come to the conclusion that they are all right.
Yes, what do I have to lose by making a move. Yes I feel I'll get turned down. But GH's statement that anything else is really not an attempt. It's a weak kind of neediness I guess. Not throwing myself out there.
So it'll get done.
Althea, yep, evey bit that I argue against who she wants to be, even if it's an internal argument with myself, is just that, an argument. And it can only be destructive. Gotta give it up. And I have in a way told my wife I plan on it.
Making a move would follow two db rules. Do something different, and asking for what I want.
But first I decided to break stasis a bit with a funny move. Last night I kissed her goodnight, grabbed my blankets and pillows and plopped down on the couch to go to sleep. It was a suggestion by Bj, and not exactly what she meant, but hey it's something. The couch is a long L shape. Long enough for us to sleep end to end.
She asked what I was doing and I said "I would rather sleep there on the couch than alone in the bed. This is better" and I layed down and went to sleep. I could hear the rolling of the eyes and the flabbergasted expressions but I just went to sleep.
It was physically uncomfortable but I discovered that the physical discomfort was far better then the normal emotional discomfort of waking in the middle of the night to an empty bed. A few crooks in my neck but oh well.
Well it's something different huh.
Things were obviously a little different this morning. We'll see.
Ridiculous as hell both of us sleeping on the couch with a perfectly comfortable bed nearby.
