I've realized how much pressure is involved in the cliches typical of "Romantic love concepts"
"Your my everything" "You complete me" etc.
A person that is the object of these is under a great deal of pressure to "Be my everything" or to "complete me"
What a drag.
We think and the fairy tales say that this is the greatest compliment, that it is total devotion. And we are taught that this is what a woman wants. But it is the farthest thing from the truth I can imagine.
It is dependency, it is neediness, it is controlling, it is an energy drain.
I complete me
I am the most important thing to me
Contrary to what it seems, these statements are very loving. They say "I am me, you are you, we are both strong individuals, we are not dependent on one another, But being strong individuals we can hang out and find even more strength (and pleasure) in the respect we have for one another and in being together"
Truly the opposite we were taught by society about being married. No wonder marriages fail.
It's funny how this has come around for me. I subscribed to the other thought because I was taught it. I thought it the right thing to do. But I had to go against my nature to do it. It was all about compromising myself and my integrity. But this is wrong.
Also funny that it echoes my political beliefs. I am a libertarian. Libertarians base much of their beliefs on epistological objectivism. Ayn Rand founded this belief system, it is mostly laid out in the book "The Virtue of Selfishness"
Who knew that my political beliefs would really end up being much the same as my relationship beliefs. As I've gone through this journey I've found that it is all so connected. Relationships whether they are a marriage, a business, a community. a political belief. It is all much the same.
I've pulled the Virtue of selfishness out of the shelf and intend on reading it again. I think there are more secrets in there.
