Michele, thank you for your positive words - you definitely practice what you preach because your positive encouraging words had a positive reaction in me! I've been a little blue lately but your words perked me up and gave me something which put me back on the PMA track. I admit from time to time secretely sulking about feeling unloved/unwanted, but have grown enough to let it go and not let it consume me. H can't give what he's incapable of giving nor can he be forced to. A positive thing happened today, and it's been a long time...H showed concern over something that I had expressed sadness over (something that had zero to do with him). That's a baby step in the right direction. I'm not putting too much into it, but do know it was a positive thing.
smp, I'm curious what Michele would say about what you should do. I'm wondering since she said in her book things about 'not leaving R books laying around', etc., if she'd dissuade you from sending your H the DR article. I'm wondering if that is considered pursing on your part. I know your intentions are positive ones but do you really feel your H is receptive to reading articles and hearing about SBT? Only you can answer that. I'm only saying this to you because I took that route but it landed me back at square one, over and over. Finally, I quit doing that. I did not give up on H or the marriage but I gave up trying to convince him of anything. Actions speak louder than words anyway. As far as detaching goes, you might be interested in Billymo's "Let it go" post...his explanation really helped me. (It's on the MLC board.) I've been doing this for some time and probably made all the possible mistakes one can make, but finally think I get what I'm suppose to do.
Jen, if you are reading this, did you read that book on controlled separation...is that how you decided to do this? I ask because H and I are contemplating doing this.
