Thanks for sharing your experiences with me. It always helps to hear from others. Up until recently, my H was deep in the anger phase of his mlc - now he seems to go in an out of this phase without warning. When he is angry, any contact from me is seen as controlling or persuing, and he will lash out at me. Since he doesn't live here, it is not a matter of personal safety. But I don't want to be subjected to the verbal abuse, either. Yes, I can simply hang up the phone.
I'm actually beginning to feel comfortable with progress we're making - and will continue to stay dark. I think the key now is to just be patient. He is making efforts to contact me, to find out what is going on in my life, and in small ways, to actually interact. This is all I want right now. I have to be very careful how I respond to anything he does. He has told me and others that he "doesn't want me to get my hopes up" about reconciliation. So if I respond in a way that he suspects as I am interpreting his attentions or actions as he is interested in me, he gets angry or does something cruel, just to make a point.
So far, I have been dark since mid-September. Only brief email exchanges regarding financial matters. I ran into him last week when I dropped mail off at his office (first time I have seen him since going dark). He was falling all over himself trying to follow me out the door of his building, asking me a series of questions about how I was doing, how are the animals, etc, etc... This is a huge difference from before I went dark. At that point, he was telling me I could disappear off the face of the earth, for all he cared
So, I guess I'm doing OK, and just need to be very aware of the baby steps H makes, and act accordingly.
