LDW just can't get it together

[Bear]

"You sorry SOB, you expect me to drop my drawers everytime you get a woody, but you treat me like sh!t all the time. No woman would ever want to have sex with you under these conditions!"

LOL! I sometimes wish I had had the guts to say something like that! When I was LD it was because of an abusive H so I mostly said nothing at all and turned it all inward. I often wonder how I would have handled it with a "normal" partner. But I also wonder if it would have been an issue. I think it can be a matter of degree. Do you lose desire when your H calls you a F'ing B? Absolutely! But is it the same when he disagrees on the color of paint you want for the living room? I know women who use the whole reward system to get things done around the house and it works for both partners. I think that's the key. I have also known people who have put thier partners in a "parent" position and then resent when they are treated like a child.

Anyway, thanks for your input MrsNop and GEL.

Bear