Well RJ, (If he can't change his behaviour, how can I change mine towards him?)
You change your behavior towards him in other areas...you working on you and your behavior will start the ball of change rolling. If you wait for him to change first, you will wait a long, long, long time and perhaps never see a change. Find out what his love language is and speak it to the best of your ability (it may not just be PT either...he may be someone who requires words of affirmation/validation). However, IMPO...if he's truly treating you disrespectfully then what do you say/do when he does this?
Can you give us a scenario? FWIW, if my H called me a F'ing bitch and was expecting me to jump in bed with him...well I'd be sure to let him know that disrespectful name-calling like that only ensures he won't get what he's wanting...because it instantly turns your desire switch for him off.
If you can change your behavior towards your H...and lay down boundaries on how he treats you, it will take time but the dynamics in your R probably will change. It's worked for many people. But you can't sit stubbornly by waiting on him to do it first.
