Quote: This is a typical situation that goes on in our marriage, and I'm sick to death of it. I have read Michele's SSM & Schnarch's Passionate Marriage books (he hasn't - finds other things to do), but they haven't helped much.
RJ, why do you think they haven't helped? I'm curious. I read SSM somewhat grudgingly and it at least started the mental journey for me and I came away with a greater understanding of what my HD husband was feeling.
Quote:
I know he shouldn't be denied sex so I'm at the stage where I am going to tell him to find someone else to have sex with. I know that will have the risk of an EA, but at the moment I really don't care. At least he would be leaving me alone.
Yeah, been there, done that.
"Why don't you just go get you a f*ckbuddy?"
Luckily enough, during this spat my husband's maturity exceeded mine and rather than get huffy and respond in kind, he calmly replied, "I don't think you really mean that."
Until you get past the mind set that your husband has to jump through several hoops *before* you start addressing the sexual issues, you are going to continue to spin your wheels.
It is best addressed by *both* and at the same time.
