Hi Michele - Thank you for responding to our questions regarding the 180 and LRT. I'm still not sure what is the appropriate way to handle my situation. H is in serious MLC - mostly in the anger phase. He moved out end of August. At first I was pleading, begging, all the things I should not have been doing. I stopped doing that, which did result in some changes. However, what happened was he behaved as though it was quite alright to be my "buddy" when he wanted to talk about his new life or problems he was having. Otherwise, any contact initiated by me, even if it was to bring mail by his office, was met with an angry, disrespectful outburst.
When I pulled away completely - not answering his calls, etc. The outbursts have stopped (obviously). On the MLC boards, experienced posters are recommending complete detachment and no contact initiated by me. That is what I'm trying to do until he is able to work through his anger and unresolved issues. He seems to blaming me for eveything wrong in his life (even things that aren't wrong but just different from what he wants now). So, my laying low to avoid the fallout of his MLC crisis seems to be counter to what you are recommending. When it comes to MLC spouses, how do we DB lovingly AND give them their space to work through issus, especially when there is so much anger directed at us?
